The other day I was talking to Grace about the blanket that I had when I was little. I will forgo telling anyone the name of my blanket, but the fact about it is...it ended up in several pieces and I can't even remember what has become of it. The purpose of the conversation was to convince Grace that it might be time to give up her 'lovey's' and be a big kid. I totally went against everything I have been taught about child development and tried to guilt her into giving up her security and comfort. Oh yeah....I'm a bad mom!
When I had Katey back in the mid 90's Dr. T. Barry Brazelton used to have a television show about parenting and one of the topics he discussed OFTEN was the use of what her termed "Lovey's" by children. Basically a security blanket, pacifier or stuffed animal...anything that gave the child comfort and calmed them was a lovey. His take on this subject was to let the child get rid of the lovey on THIER time. Not the adult's time. We aren't the one's getting comfort from the object so it isn't up to us to take it away. Hmmm...okay, I thought. That is reasonable and I let Katey have a pacifier only at sleeping times and by the time she was three she went to the garbage can and threw it away.
Anyway...as I was having the conversation with Grace about giving up Willa and blankey she looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "But mom, how did you feel when you had to give up your blanket?" Then I thought back to the feelings I had when I watched my dad put my blanket into the top of his closet and thought..."I can do this...I'm a big kid".
Needles to say, the next day Willa and blankey got a bath in the washing machine and after the dryer, they were promptly put back on Graces bed. So what if she takes them to college? Worse things can happen. She's 8 and we have plenty of time to get to that point. Life is hard enough without a lovey.
I still have my "lovely"
ReplyDeleteShelly forgot to mention that her Dad caved in and she got her blanket back. We too, drove back at least 100 miles to rescue her blanket from a motel. They had thrown it out as a rag but had it clean for us when we got back with our histerical child. We won't tell you what it was called or why. The tiny, gray scrap that was left of that blanket left with Shelly when she left home. It had had countless satin bindings, was patched together and she was never forced into anything. In fact, she leaned against the washer as it was cleaned. Hang in there Grace. We all need all the comfort we can get. Love ya, Grammy
ReplyDeleteAaaannndd....that is why I too caved. There is nothing harder than looking at your child tearing up when you take something away like that. I just remembered the feeling....
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